Named Esme Kimono hack and some musings on perfectionism

Finally I am blogging one of 5 unblogged SWAP items I have made over the cold months. More to follow when weather gets properly warmer and I have seen the beautician to remove my winter coat 😉

As part of my SWAP wardrobe, I had planned a kimono style over layer. Seems I was well ahead of the curve here as clearly they are currently having a very mainstream fashion moment. I’m fine with that as my SWAP wardrobe is designed to be as timeless as possible and I believe that soft drapey jackets like this will always be chic for evening and in the meantime I will wear them with jeans and t-shirts too. Winning all round.

This Kimono is a hack of the Esme Cardigan by my fav Named Clothing. I made some modifications as follows:

• Made the front into a single piece removing the pockets
• Narrowed the button stand to about 5cm
• Widened and shortened the sleeves, leaving off the cuff
• Added fringing to the hem

The gunmetal satin fabric was purchased at a school fair for $1 and the fringing was from Spotlight. I had ordered some lovely silver fringing as part of my ill-fated Mood order, but received gold fringing instead which did not work. So yeah, thanks for that guys.

I sewed the entire garment with French seams to make the inside of this unlined garment pretty too and also this fabric frays like the badness. TBH I didn’t trim my first seam very well and there are some fluffy bits poking out of some of the seams. Ugh.

Which brings me to my musings on perfectionism. On Friday night I auditioned for a role I want so badly. As the Buddhists say, ‘Desire leads to suffering’ and it’s always true for me in the case of auditions for roles I want. I am well under the weather with a horrid head cold and my desired ‘smash it out of the park’ result for Friday’s 10mins of time with the production team was not achieved. I probably delivered at about 75% of where I wanted to.

Since then my feelings about the audition have deteriorated to feeling like I performed terribly – the curse of perfectionism. I think the worst thing about perfectionism is the crushing truth that perfectionists shoulder: knowing they can never attain perfection – whether in a French seam, the perfect outfit, or in an audition –  but never being able to be satisfied with anything less.

Alex said to me the worst he has ever heard me perform is at 98% of amazing, and my tight set of friends have reminded me that if I don’t get the part, it won’t be to do with the audition but the multiple of other variables that happen in situations outside our control. And the reality of the fact is that the audition ended with the Musical Director saying “We know what you can do Naomi” when I asked if I could sing one of the sections again because I wasn’t happy with how it had felt. How is it that in the face of all this external feedback telling me I did OK, that my brain can still convince me I tanked?

Well there’s my existential crisis in 3 paragraphs. Thanks for reading. On the up side I do really like how this Esme hack finished up, regardless of the fluffy seams. And how lovely is that diffuse Spring light in our garden?

Outfit deets:

• Period Tee from Nope Sisters Clothing – promoting affordable menstrual products for young women
• Second hand jeans
• Allbirds runners (if you live in NZ or US check them out! They are THE.BEST)
• Sunnies by Coral Marlin Eyewear